blond girls in Spandex and brunettes in leather
white satin dresses in spite of the weather
screaming in pillows
those voices she brings
these are a few of my favorite things

stockings, pierced nipples, and purring like kittens
spanking a stripper with soft woolen mittens
rolling in Jello
to see what it brings
these are a few of my favorite things

touching in public her sweet folded places
flooding the nighttime with longing embraces
pressing on dimples
to see if she sings
these are a few of my favorite things

when the rope bites
when the whip stings
when I’m feeling mad
I simply remember my favorite things
and then I don’t feel so bad

[I wrote this years ago as a response to a complaint from L, a conversation which probably went something like this:

“Packages tied up in strings?”
“Yes?”
“There are things I like better.”
“I suppose there are.”

Obviously there are reasons to prefer my version.]