A compelling and poetic paragraph from page 445 of my copy of Cryptonomicon.
The sand at the surf line has been washed flat. A small child’s footprints wander across it, splaying like gardenia blossoms on thin shafts. The sand looks like a geometric plane until a sheet of ocean grazes it. Then small imperfections are betrayed by swirls in the water. Those swirls in turn carve the sand. The ocean is a Turing machine, the sand is its tape, the water reads the marks in the sand and sometimes erases them and sometimes carves new ones with tiny currents that are themselves a response to the marks. Plodding through the surf, Waterhouse strikes deep craters in the wet sand that are read by the ocean. Eventually the ocean erases them, but in the process its state has been changed, the pattern of its swirls has been altered. Waterhouse imagines that the disturbance might somehow propagate across the Pacific and into some super-secret Niponese surveillance device made of bamboo tubes and chrysanthemum leaves; Nip listeners would know that Waterhouse had walked that way. In turn, the water swirling around Waterhouse’s feet carries information about Nip propeller design and the deployment of their fleets—if only he had the wit to read it. The chaos of the waves, gravid with encrypted data, mocks him.
This puts me about half way through what has proven to be a wonderful novel.
My copy has a large number of typographical errors prompting me to ponder if they are not purposely inserted cryptographic messages of some design. It’s a book that encourages this sort of thinking.
I have long been a fan of George Carlin. I went to see him when I was maybe 13; my mother took my brother and I to the Paramount to see him. I think it may have been for my birthday. Anyway… long-time fan, first-time reader.
I discovered that he had a book called Napalm & Silly Putty recently and though it was quite old by then I bought a used copy and had a go at it.
Napalm & Silly Putty
If you are acquainted with his stand-up material you are going to see a lot here that’s familiar territory. No harm there. Intersperced between the familiar you will also find some novel bits and I’d like to share one of those for you now.
It’s not comedy, just pure political philosophy. It’s titled Don’t Blame the Leaders (You, the People) (p 234).
In the midst of all my bitching, you might’ve noticed that I never complain about politicians. I leave that to others. And there’s no shortage of volunteers; everyone complains about politicians. Everyone says they suck.
But where do people think these politicians come from? They don’t fall out of the sky; they don’t pass through membrane from a separate reality. They come from American homes, American families, American schools, American churches, and American businesses. And they’re elected by American voters. This is what our system produces, folks. This is the best we can do. Let’s face it, we have very little to work with. Garbage in, garbage out.
Ignorant citizens elect ignorant leaders, it’s as simple as that. And term limits don’t help. All you do is get a brand new bunch of ignorant leaders.
So maybe it’s not the politicians who suck; maybe it’s something else. Like the public. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: “The public sucks. Elect me.” Put the blame where it belongs: on the people.
Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? Where are these people hiding? The truth is, we don’t have people like that. Everyone’s at the mall, scratching his balls and buying speakers with lights on them. And complaining about the politicians.
That’s it. That’s your cheery thought for the day.
My old friend Ian Parks moved to LA a few years back and set himself in a sweet little place with a cool courtyard. He puts on music shows there calling it Frog Town.
Living in Seattle I’ve only been able to catch the bits that get posted to YouTube. Regardless, after I listened to a performance by John Elliott I was impressed. When I found out he was putting together an album I got in touch with him so I could check it out and maybe write a review for both of my dedicated if mildly retarded readers.
“James is a writer of elegance and sophistication.”
You like watching videos of live performances? Ok.
So his new album is called Backyards and is published under John Elliott & the Hereafter.
Backyards
If you are reading this early enough (and you are in the LA area), you can still catch the album release party (13 August 2011). If you want to get tickets for the release party you can do so here. It’s a show for adults so become an adult before you go, eh?
Long story short, this is that review. Let me just cut to the important part: this is good music and should be bought, posthaste. Zoomzoom, amigos! Buy it here.
The audio and recording quality throughout is excellent. The same holds for the musicianship and the mixing. Coincidentally, John shares my distaste for the ubiquitous mp3 and what it has done for the expectations of quality in musical recordings. That’s a good thing.
I’ll just talk about a few tracks that stood out for me. You might end up getting more deeply into different tracks. I might change my affiliations over time. Music is like that.
The first track, called The American West, reminds me of one of my favorite albums of recent years. If One Fast Move or I’m Gone: Kerouac’s Big Sur isn’t already in your collection you are missing out, but American West both in musical feel and thematic scope would fit right into that set. Good company, that. (This is the same song as in the video above, but this version is with The Hereafter while the video is a solo performance with just John Elliott.)
The third track is a sweet up-tempo romp about winning and losing and the shape of life in sketches seen through timid fearless eyes. It’s called “Daylight Saving”. I like this song a lot and wonder if it’s going to be a hit one day.
“Losing Streak” is in the fourth slot and I don’t know what to say about it. Is it a lamentation? Could be. Mellow for some I suppose but musically rich and in a way exciting. Having listened to them several times now I have come to view these first three songs as a kind of trilogy: they each tell a different story but they have a commonality between and through them.
“I Think I Found a New Friend” (track five) has some nice backing vocals. When I find out by whom I’ll update it here.
I thought “Over a Year” might have been influenced by The Edge (guitarist for U2), but even if it’s not it has some great guitar work and some punk influence, making it a nice lead into the next song. As a side note, this seems to be the song from which the album title comes.
Track seven is a change of gears. I’d maybe call it a punk jam calling upon the ghosts of The Clash and Joan Jett. They called it “Cassius Clay”.
Now we come to quite a contrast to Cassius. Track nine, called “So This Is When It Comes”, is what we might call a spacey ambient tribute to ambient space people everywhere. Really shows the broad musical range of this album.
Eleven tracks in all. A clandestine reference to Spinal Tap? Who can say?
The final track, “Empty in the Heartland”, musically strikes me as a sort of reprise to the first track and thus makes for an excellent bookend for Backyards. It’s the sort of song you can find yourself fading off into the land of dreams. Sort of like at the end of a party. When everyone else has already passed out and you’re looking around your own backyard yawning and thinking “look at all those fucking beer cans where’s my lawn chair?”.
If you’d like to follow The Hereafter, you can check out their site. Oh, yeah; and buy it here.
I’ve been watching a lot of films with Adrien Brody of late (since a certain princess I know really likes him). I was surfing a film site and noticed that he stared in a film along side Milla Jovavich. I had never heard of the film, called Dummy, but I figured with those two in the lead roles I could do worse.
Dummy
Very pleasantly I would have a hard time having done better. It’s a great and heart-felt movie worth every penny I doled out for the used DVD. Terrifically personal and passionate, it will make a fine edition to my permanent collection.
It’s one of those little gems we all love to discover: obscure, independent, and magnificent. Get thee to the video store!
This has been on my list of things to do for a while now, and I’m sorry to have made you wait so long. You may or may not have already seen the video for the poem called “How to Be Alone”. It has nearly 2 million hits on YouTube.
Not bad for a poet, eh?
The poem is by Tanya Davis and you can find her Web site here. (The video is a collaberation with independent filmmaker Andrea Dorfman and you can find her site here.)
If you find you’d like to get some of Tanya’s material on CD (or download), you can visit Tanya’s page at Sand Bar Music.
I wish Tanya all the best and I hope you enjoy her as I have.
I’m a big Wes Anderson fan and have been since I took a chance and bought Rushmore on DVD. He’s really quite good at making movies.
A friend insists that Bottle Rocket is his best film. I finally bought a copy on Blu-ray and have now watched that great film.
Bottle Rocket
I think what makes this a great film is that you get to see Wes Anderson and the Wilson brothers at the very beginning. There are flaws in the film which they correct in later films, but this film really shows the talents that were waiting down in Texas aching to explode on the big screen.
If you also enjoy Wes Anderson films, you will likely also enjoy Bottle Rocket. I can’t say it’s for everyone though. If you were going to pick only one Wes Anderson film to watch I would probably still recommend Rushmore.
Now this Criterion Collection Blu-ray has some excellent extras thrown in for fun. It does have the original Bottle Rocket short film which Wes and Co sent to Sundance. Also there are a host of cut scenes from the film which are interesting to watch (if you are into film making as a craft).
The best gem of the lot though is a documentary film called Murita Cycles by Barry Braverman. (I understand this is also included on the 2 DVD Criterion Collection set as well.)
There you have it. Not my most exciting review, but you know what you need to know. Get busy.
It’s basically the story of two Italian brothers who come to the States seeking to make their fortunes as restaurateurs. Things are not going well and they begin to reach out for other ways to succeed, each brother in his own manner. The brothers represent a variety of polar opposites and the interplay between them and between all the characters is well done.
The story itself is caught somewhere between Tampopo and Waiting for Godot. It is a rich philosophical film filled with brain candy. And the food will make you hungry. I especially liked the timpani. (You can find an example of this dish here and here, the second probably being more closely authentic.)
If you are looking for some fresh comic perspective on bear hunting, you could either try my new sport or read Help! A Bear Is Eating Me! by Mykle Hansen. The choice is yours and I don’t want to influence your decision either way.
Help! A Bear Is Eating Me!
My new sport is fun filled and a lot like catch-and-release fishing, except with bears. Catch-and-release allows fishermin to demonstrate their prowess without removing a breeding candidate from the waterways. In this kind of bear hunting hunters shoot bears without removing a breeding candidate from the forests. You basically get to hunt bears, just like fishing catch-and-release you get to fish; but then you don’t actually kill the bear, just like you don’t actually kill the fish. No eating; no trophying.
How, you ask, can I hunt a bear without killing it?
Excellent question. This new kind of hunting is called Splat-and-run hunting, and you hunt the bear with paint guns. And try not to get eaten like Marv Pushkin, the protagonist in agony of Help! A Bear Is Eating Me!
Marv was not hunting with paint guns. He had an arsenal of real and powerful hunting rifles. But then again Marv is a bit of an asshole and an idiot.
Oh, but you haven’t read the book yet. Look, it’s only 129 pages long and it’s really good. You could get through it in a day while camping and smoking weed and drinking beer. Technically the camping isn’t required, though it’s a nice outdoorsy book which takes place in Alaska so the fire helps round out the experience.
You might be thinking that a book about a guy being eaten by a bear isn’t funny. C’mon. You probably once thought that a movie about creatures of the undead eating brains couldn’t be funny. You don’t think that way any more. It’s time to let your prejudices go. Let them go far away.
For whatever reason I have watched a host of zombie and other horror films, some good and some bad, and I feel compelled to talk about several of them. You may have already seen my review of Fido. Maybe you have even picked up your own copy. Good for you. I hope you enjoy these other recommendations (and avoid these stinkers) too.
Last night I watched a great Swedish Norwegian (oops, thanks Martin) contribution to zombie horror called Dead Snow (Død snø). You think “oh, zombies; that’s bad” and then you think “oh, Nazis; that’s bad” and then you think “Nazi zombies? We are so fucked”. So much evil; so little time. This film pays homage to several films in zombie history. You could make a drinking game of it. (Even a bit of a nod to Pirates of the Caribbean and Pulp Fiction.) Definitely watch this film. Hot Swedish Norwegian girls in the snow.
There is a New Zealand contribution to zombie horror our there called Black Sheep. This one skirts that taboo known as genetic engineering. I realize you may not think highly of the idea of zombie sheep, but this film works to please on several levels. And you get to see a vegan-animal-advocate-hippie turned raw meat carnivore. Rent or buy this one as soon as possible. You won’t think of wool the same way again.
Remember not to get on any plane carrying a coffin and a fugitive pursued by the CIA. This is the setup for the film Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane and it is just like it sounds: a marvelous blending of Snakes on a Plane and Night of the Living Dead. You may or may not enjoy this one. Decent budget. Easy sets (they are on a fucking plane). Well acted throughout. If you enjoyed its two name-sakes, you’ll likely get a great kick out of this one. Watch it if you can.
I watch the bad films so that you don’t have to. Unless you are into that sort of thing.
Not a zombie flick but rather an alleged vampire film, Fist of the Vampire (which gave me high hopes with the title) just didn’t live up to, well, anything. Poor acting, meager fight choreography, odd video editing, and bizarre special effects choices inconsistently spread through the film. You could tell when the actors had their teeth in because they developed lisps. This is a film to laugh at—not with. On the plus side there is a lot of gratuitous boob action and some unnecessary lesbian fantasies. Don’t spend your money here. And if you do watch it, remember I tried to warn you.
Just because you have a small budget doesn’t mean you can’t kick some zombie ass. The creators of Special Dead must have been giddy to see the final cut roll. It was a romp so wrong it must be right. A zombie outbreak at a special persons camp. Surprisingly well acted. I guess they took the advice of Kirk Lazarus seriously and didn’t go “full retard”. There is so much to love in this low-budget instant classic I’m at a loss where to begin. The electric chainsaw extension cord problem? The campfire song? You have to see it to believe it. You have to see it. Don’t come crying to me if you tear out your stitches watching this one. But watch it. Give them some money. They deserve it.
(You may have trouble finding a copy of Special Dead to buy as it looks to be out of print.)
Megan Fox is hot. There is no other reason to watch Jennifer’s Body. Seriously. I guess it’s some sort of werewolf film sans fur. Terrible. Except she’s so hot. No nudity but plenty of hot body action. And some unnecessary lesbian fantasies.
I heard a reading from Dracula’s Guest on Selected Shorts (NPR) and noticed that same title on a torrent site. I gave it a chance. Don’t bother. The film is not worth your time. I want my 82 minutes back.
More psychological thriller, The Collector was ok. If you are into boo style horror, you might like this. I found it had too many silly plot points to make it any good. You know, something happens and you ask yourself “why the fuck would anyone ever do that?”. And the psycho character would never have been able to arrange these Home Alone traps in the time allotted (or maybe ever). I can’t say terrible, but I can’t say good either. You’re on your own on this one.
In the tradition of undead horrors, we come to The Haunting of Winchester House. I’m not clear if the authors ever visited the Winchester mansion or if they actually knew anything about the history that you wouldn’t read on the back of a post card, but they did an acceptable job of creating a film. I love watching films like this because it encourages me to think I too could make a film and get it distributed. The ghosts are suspiciously zombie-like. Tons of plot holes. Much silliness within their attempts at seriousness. Not that interesting to me, but again if you like boo style horror you might be entertained. The ending would make M. Night Shyamalan proud.
What’s better than vampires? Lesbian vampires, of course. The film Lesbian Vampire Killers follows two friends (think Shaun of the Dead) who decide to vacation in the English countryside for a bit of relaxation and beer. The only problem is that they vacate to a village cursed by a medieval vampire queen where all the girls are transformed into lesbian vampires when they turn 18. Add four hot foreigners who have traveled to this village Mystery Machine style specifically to investigate the legends. How can you possibly go wrong? Buy this film. You will not regret it. Packed from end to end with unnecessary lesbian fantasies.
(The American release is titled simply Vampire Killers. Apparently it was more important to remove that horrible word from the title than to preserve any plot connection. Fucking puritans.)
And finally Zombieland. Big budget horror often leaves me cold, but this could be the finest hour for both Bill Murray and Woody Harrelson. Definitely worth the price of admission.
Hope that helps you along your horror path. Remember: keep your machete sharp and your chainsaw fueled.
A while back I did a post concerning the fascinating plastic island out in the pacific (that’s a bad thing, by the way). More recently I watched a documentary on plastics that I want to promote.
The film is called Addicted to Plastic. There is no normal US distribution for this film and so you’d have to drop about $300 to get your copy on DVD.
You might try your local rental outlet to see if they have it available. However, not everyone has access to a Scarecrow Video (who has everything). I was able to find a copy through bittorrent.
It’s a must watch for anyone involved or interested in the debates over the environment, petroleum, or health.
